Emerging, Part 1

image from cop richard

Thursday, May 7, 2015

"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."  Galatians 1:10

Judaizers had come into Galatia behind Paul and convinced the easily-swayed believers there that the Gospel required them to be circumcised according to OT law.  Paul re-asserted that if such were the case, Christ's death was useless.  He refused to succumb to the expectations of men -- even though those expectations were rooted in Jewish Scripture! -- because of Christ's sufficiency.

It's fascinating to note Paul had once railed against the very things he now preached (Galatians 1:23) -- and people glorified God because of it.

I ended up reading the entire book of Galatians, and it was as if for the first time.  Paul is so adamant about not allowing anyone to drag us back into thinking we must be enslaved to the law because that ideology is essentially blasphemous toward Christ's death and resurrection.  He never suggests we throw caution to the wind but encourages his readers instead to be guided by LOVE.  So good...

"Preach, saying, 'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.'  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons; freely you received, freely give...whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet."  Matthew 10:7-8, 14

JESUS' Kingdom is a stumbling block...

Read here the Introduction and Part 2.

Are we following the REAL Jesus?

image from Red Letter Christians

As I was looking through my notes from Q Nashville a few days ago, I found myself being drawn back to a question that's been burning a hole in my brain over the past few months...

Are we following the REAL Jesus?

A couple of years ago my friend Patricia made a comment about how, as she had been re-reading the Gospels, she found herself wondering if the way she had been presenting Christianity to her friends was a false advertisement of sorts.  She had begun to recognize Christ's call to "die to self," and that wasn't something she had ever brought up when inviting someone to follow him.  Patricia's realization stuck with me as a critical reminder that sometimes we need to re-examine our preconceived notions about our faith.

That memory re-surfaced as I was reflecting on Russell Moore's Q talk, "A Prophetic Minority."  He spoke of how it's hard to argue that the Christianity of the New Testament was ever a majority in America; how one of the most dangerous things we could do as the church is try to normalize Christianity and the Gospel; and how Christianity has never proposed to be the "best way to live" but has instead always come with a scandal and a cross.  Moore reminded us that Jesus freaked out even his own disciples.

These were sobering thoughts.

See, I'm afraid too many of us in the American church have either forgotten these things, never realized them to begin with, or chosen to ignore them.  A friend of mine has said we like to talk about Jesus without talking about Jesus, and I've come to believe he's right.  I hear too many people talk about Jesus as though he came preaching a morality designed to keep us safe and separate from the rest of the world, and always "right," when in reality he stepped on the scene and proceeded to tear down the walls the self-righteous leaders had erected while building bridges to connect with those who had been locked out of their religious system.  He brought a message not of mere pristine morality but of radical love that treated those shunned by the religious as beloved insiders.  He shocked and offended his own people.

image from The Master's Table

And this is where I think we make the exact same mistake as the Pharisees. We trust our own limited, broken, human understanding of Scripture - of the written Word of God - more than we trust the example of Jesus - the living Word of God.  And so we erect our own walls designed to keep us safe, separate, and "right," ignoring the fact that Jesus' life broke down the paradigms that existed in the minds of the studied, scholarly religious leaders of his day.  We overlook the fact that Jesus showed the Pharisees in his words and actions that they were completely missing the point of the written Word, which was love.

Just like the Pharisees, we, too, are shocked and offended by anyone who dares to point out such things to us today.

I wholeheartedly believe every single one of us - but particularly those of us who live in America and treasure our culture of independence and consumerism - have our own faulty paradigms that Jesus wants to rattle apart, but many of us are so confident in our current understanding of Scripture we close our ears and eyes and hearts to the prophetic voices in our modern world.  We ignore echoes of the likes of Jeremiah crying out to Israel or Jesus rebuking the Pharisees telling us that we, God's people, have missed the point and lost the plot.

Jesus was once asked what the greatest commandment was.  He answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."  (Matthew 22:37-40, emphasis added)  Paul echoes this when he says "the one who loves another has fulfilled the law...Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."  (Romans 13:8b, 10)

image from Free HD Wallpaper

Some people like to fixate on the fact that we are warned in the New Testament, even by Jesus himself, against false teachers.  It's as though this gives us license not to love certain people (at least not in our actions).  I think, though, there is a distinct possibility we have hopelessly over-complicated this whole "false teaching" thing.  If even Jesus himself boiled down good theology to loving God and loving people, is not the simple, logical connection to false teachers that they will discourage loving God and/or loving people?  It seems foolish to me to water down what Jesus made so plain, to act as though he left out some things when he said the law was fulfilled in love.  I certainly don't want to make any such claim, whether explicit or implied!  To do so would convey a sense of human pride which seems much more likely to fuel false teaching than humbly trusting in the simplicity of what Jesus said.

In fact, it's interesting to note that one instance in which Jesus warned people about such things is sandwiched between two statements about a loss of love among people...

And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another.  And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray.  And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.  (Matthew 24:10-12, emphasis added)

The absence of love and the presence of hate would seem to be closely linked to people being led astray by "false prophets."  Interesting.

Thankfully, Jesus offers hope in his next sentences...

But the one who endures to the end will be saved.  And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.  (Matthew 24:13-14)

Some Christians seem eager to give up on the world, as though our belief that things are falling apart beyond repair will speed our reunion with Christ.  But here we're told the Gospel of God's Kingdom will spread throughout the world before the end comes.  That sounds like a hopeful movement to me, even if it's in the face of trials and tribulations...something to aspire to.  However, such a movement won't be fueled by our pride or fear or self-righteousness.

But it will be fueled by LOVE.

Maybe that's why Jesus boiled everything down to that one simple four-letter word.  And maybe the fact that Scripture clearly tells us he did that ought to motivate us to examine what sort of Jesus we've been following.  Because if we're following some version of him that's leading us to indoctrinate people with a thousand specific beliefs, and if that's causing us to condemn certain people or write them off or make any other number of prideful or fear-based moves, I think we're following the wrong guy.

But if we're following the Jesus who calls us to love, and if that's inspiring us to invite others to join us in walking with him as we receive and give away his radical love, then I think we're on the right track.

We speak with convictions and kindness because we don't believe transformation comes through a set of ideas but a Galilean voice.
-Russell Moore

Noah: A Story of Mercy

image from BeyondHollywood.com

My Sunday school teachers had turned Bible narrative into children's fables.  They talked about Noah and the ark because the story had animals in it.  They failed to mention that this was when God massacred all of humanity... 

How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children?  Can you imagine a children's book about Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny heads being bashed against rocks or hung up on fallen trees?  I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies. 

-Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

I find it quite ironic that I read these words only a few days before seeing "Noah" in the theater.  I'll be honest, though I encouraged my fellow Christians to give the movie a chance, asking them to see the film and look for some merit before writing it off, I went in with fairly low expectations myself, simply because the only other film I've seen by director Darren Aronofsky was not one that I enjoyed.  I didn't find it offensive, just a little creepy.  I was afraid I might come away from "Noah" with a similar response.  However, my hesitation proved to be unnecessary, as I actually found much to appreciate in this new film.  Did they take liberties with the story?  UH, YEA.  But that, for me, did not hinder the central message of the story.

**Spoilers ahead!**


I'll start with a few things this movie brought to life for me that I'd never previously considered, things that did NOT depart from the Biblical account.

1.  It was DARK inside the ark.  Like really, really dark.  I guess I'd always subconsciously imagined it with windows?

2.  Along the lines of what Donald Miller was saying in the excerpt above, it must have been truly horrifying to hear the screams of all those whose lives were being taken by the flood while YOU sat in safety.  I deeply appreciated how this was poignantly portrayed in the movie.  As a fairly extreme feeler, it doesn't matter HOW firmly I believe someone is getting something he or she justly deserves, I still am deeply troubled when I witness another person's pain.  Being in THIS particular situation...well, I just can't imagine.  I heard one comment about how the filmmakers had an agenda to portray God as mean.  Well, to be honest, I would humbly suggest that impression has little, if anything, to do with the way the filmmakers told the story and pretty much everything to do with the story itself, even as one would read it straight out of Genesis.  Sometimes it hurts to be confronted with the uglier realities of certain aspects of our faith story.  AND YET, while I completely understand how one could read the story or see the film and think God is mean and hateful, the crucial element here is to remember the whole reason God sent the flood was because men had become so evil & violent they were destroying each other.  This act of judgment was actually an act of mercy, and contrary to how sending a flood of this magnitude appears on the surface, through it God actually showed his LOVE for humanity by preserving mankind through Noah's family.  And I actually believe this was conveyed through the film.

3.  There was a time when the creation story was globally recognized and accepted, even by the most wicked of men.  I LOVED hearing one character after another speak of "The Creator" and getting a glimpse of a culture in which this story would have been passed down through oral tradition and accepted by all as a central component of life.  I also LOVED the creation montages used throughout the movie as the story was being retold.  Beautiful artwork.

4.  Although I knew Noah got drunk at some point after the flood, it had somehow never occurred to me to wonder WHY.  Though many liberties were taken throughout the film, including with what happened during Noah's family's time on the ark, the fact is God had not told Noah (or at least it was not recorded) how long his family would be confined to that space or when it might be over or, really, what would happen afterward.  I think we can all relate to being in the midst of a waiting period, not knowing when or how God is going to change our circumstances, and feeling something along the lines of situational cabin fever.  Not knowing if or when a difficult circumstance is going to change can make a person lose it a little.  Add to that uncertainty whatever myriad of emotion Noah may have felt in light of the fact that THE ENTIRE HUMAN POPULATION HAD JUST BEEN DESTROYED outside his door, and suddenly it's not at all mysterious to me that Noah may have sought a bit of escape in the form of alcohol.


Now, as I said, the filmmakers did take liberties with the story, perhaps most notably with Movie Noah's coming to the conclusion that God wanted to destroy ALL of humanity, INCLUDING him and his own family.  He came to believe their purpose was simply to preserve the animals.  When his only daughter-in-law, presumed to be barren, turned out to be pregnant, he determined he would take the baby's life if it was a girl, thus preventing any future births.  While nothing like this happens in the Biblical account, I don't have a problem looking past that to see what the filmmakers may have been trying to say through their own version of the story, and to be honest there were a few elements of this plot line that I actually really appreciated.

1.  Movie Noah recognized the brokenness that existed within himself and his own family.  He didn't assume they were incapable of great violence even though God had chosen them for an important mission.  I appreciate that the filmmakers painted Noah as a self-aware man when it would have been easy to have him come off as self-righteous.

2.  Movie Noah's wife desired mercy when all Noah could see was the need for judgment.  Though she, too, acknowledged her family's brokenness, she still desired life and love for them even when Noah had given up and resigned himself to this idea that God wanted them to die, too.

3.  After Movie Noah's twin granddaughters were born, and he arrived on the scene ready to take their lives, fulfilling what he believed God had called him to do, he caved, saying he couldn't do it.  From the time Noah's downward spiral began to this moment in the movie, I was wondering more with each passing minute if I was going to end up hating the film.  My response was hinging on whether Noah came to his senses or not.  When he lowered his knife past the babies, tears rolled down my face and all I could think was, "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice."  YES.  Thank you, God.

4.  After Movie Noah's family was living on land again, Noah had a conversation with Ila in which he said he failed God by not completing the task of ending the line of humanity.  Ila SO WONDERFULLY challenged his statement...I wish I had the exact wording, but she essentially said, "DID you [fail]?  God chose YOU to go on the ark.  You had a choice -- he knew you would have a choice -- and you chose mercy, and love."  YES, YES, YES!!!  This whole plot line may have been entirely man-made, but the message it conveyed is SO TRUE to the heart of God!  


That pivotal scene between Noah and Ila was my favorite moment of the movie, and it was what enabled me to embrace this film.  The details may have been skewed, but the message was still that God loves humanity.  He loves us enough to put an end to our selfishness and violence when we're killing each other.  And he loves us enough to preserve us in spite of our brokenness when we're willing to walk with him.

There is plenty more I could say, but I'll close with just one more thought.  I feel like we as Christians sometimes make the same mistake Movie Noah made in thinking God has put us here to execute judgment on his behalf.  But we who live in this day and age have the advantage of knowing how he revealed himself and his heart in the life of Jesus, and Jesus' life clearly showed us that God desires to show mercy.  May we come to our senses as Movie Noah did in the man-made part of this story that's being told on film and recognize that mercy and love are indeed the things The Creator longs for us to choose.

"Guard your heart." Um, yea, about that...

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For pretty much as long as I can remember I've heard Proverbs 4:23 quoted as something of a warning against investing too deeply in someone (particularly a member of the opposite sex) prematurely, lest they end up disappointing you.  I always understood the logic behind such a precautionary measure, and yet there was also always something about it that just didn't sit right with me.  For years I chalked that up to my own stubbornness and the idea that I was too foolhardy to embrace common sense, but at some point over the past couple years I started to recognize a better reason that interpretation of this proverb just didn't resonate with me.

It's completely antithetical to the Gospel of God's Kingdom.

Allow me to step away from the proverb for a moment.  Something God really impressed upon my heart last year was the fact that if I'm supposedly a part of this Kingdom where Jesus reigns, that means I no longer get to assume the throne in my own life.  And another thing He really impressed upon me last year was the fact that submitting my life to Christ should lead to restored relationships in all facets of my life -- which I began to realize had a lot more to do with my choosing to love others selflessly than keeping up with a list of do's and don't's.  This is where Christianity -- in its pure sense -- breaks away from all other religions.  The main point is LOVE.

Now back to the proverb, how does a call to love selflessly fit in with the idea that we should "guard our hearts" by keeping a safe distance from certain people to ensure that we don't get hurt or disappointed?  Well, if you ask me, it doesn't.  It surely isn't what Jesus modeled during His time upon the earth, as He faced rejection, ingratitude, and betrayal time after time.  These things never once caused Jesus to pull back and withhold His love.  (Now, granted, He had harsh words for a few people, but if memory serves me correctly, those words were reserved for the religious leaders who were making it difficult for people to connect with Him.  I've pointed this out before and I undoubtedly will again, simply because I think it's a truth too many of us have lost sight of in our quest for personal right-ness.  But alas, I digress.)

If I am being transformed to look more like Jesus, why would I interpret a Scripture that urges me to guard my heart as a warning that I should somehow limit the investments I make in other people, lest I experience some form of pain as a result?  Would it not be more reflective of His life to guard my heart against things like bitterness, jealousy, pride, and unforgiveness -- things that lead to broken relationships -- and to be willing to take the risk of caring deeply for other people, even if they don't all care deeply for me in return?

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There is a scene in M. Night Shyamalan's film "The Village" in which the leader of the town in which the movie is set has allowed his blind daughter to venture beyond the sequestered, supposedly safe confines of their small community in order to seek advanced medicine for the badly-injured man she loves.  The other leaders are appalled when they learn of this since their entire purpose in forming the community was to keep its members sheltered from the evils outside.  As they voice their frustrations with his decision, he emphatically declares, "Yes, I have risked!  I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause!"  And what is that "just and right cause" but love?  "The world moves for love," he says softly, moments later.  "It kneels before it in awe."

I want to live my life with a willingness to risk for the sake of love.  My friend Lisa who lives in Nicaragua wrote an affecting piece last September about a girl in her community who is living in this very tension, and it has stuck with me ever since.  I know it is risky to love freely.  I know at times it will lead to pain.  But you know what?  For one thing, pain is a little easier to bear when you know you're following a call to something beautiful.  And for another thing, it's not all painful.  Loving freely brings about a great deal of joy and beauty, too, that wouldn't be found without taking the risk of opening up your heart to other people.

So do yourself a favor.  Guard your heart, but guard it against the fear of allowing it to do what it was made to do:  LOVE.  After all, elsewhere in the Bible we're told that perfect love drives out fear.  In the words of Rend Collective Experiment, "Real love is not afraid to bleed."  Yes, sometimes we will bleed.  Jesus did.  He seemed to believe it was a risk worth taking.  And so do I.

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I came across two great pieces on this topic yesterday.  Click here or here if you're interested in reading them.

Living a Good Story

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In two days (weather permitting) I'll be heading north to spend a long weekend in Oregon. I read several books earlier this year that were, coincidentally, all set in Portland, and I also saw a movie based on one of those books which gave me some visuals to go along with what I'd read, and after reading about the city and seeing it on the big screen, I decided that I'd like to visit it myself as soon as I could. Two friends and I made plans to visit a mutual friend in Salem this weekend before spending a couple of days in Portland. In anticipation of our trip, I began rereading one of those set-in-Portland books last weekend, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I don't think it's an accident that I'm reading it again right now. This book is all about recognizing that our lives are telling a story and learning to make choices that contribute to a story that is compelling -- living in such a way that, if put on paper, our stories would actually be worth reading.

Unless you're new to my blog, you've probably picked up on the fact that this year has been pretty revolutionary for me as a follower of Jesus. The best way I can describe it is to borrow the words of the apostle Paul and say that God has been leading me through a process of "being transformed by the renewing of my mind." My brother likes to call this process "worldview transformation." Essentially this means that the way I look at all of life has changed, and as a result, so has the way I interact with the world around me. There are so many elements that have created the framework that now comprises my worldview, many of which I've written about in previous posts (in particular, much clearer understandings of God's grace, the Gospel, and the Kingdom of God; Christ's call to live a life of humility by dying to self; God's design for the Christian life to be lived in community and His heart for unity within the Church; and clearer understandings of spiritual gifts and personality types, among other things). ALL of these facets of my worldview have led to shifts in attitudes and actions, in how I live my life.

When I read A Million Miles back in the spring, I think I was vaguely aware that God was doing something new and significant in my life, but there was no way I could have known at that time what a deep impact this new work was going to have. What I'm noticing as I read the book this time around is that the way God has transformed my thinking this year has led me to live a better story, just as the book had suggested months ago. I think learning to embrace the call to die to self has been particularly important, because I can think of multiple decisions I've made -- primarily about how to spend portions of my time -- by running my options through the filter of dying to self that would have played out differently before God began this season of transformation in my life. Dying to self is what has led me to:

• go downtown (alone!) to watch a friend's dance performance after youth group instead of going straight home and crashing for the night
• message someone who had unfriended me on Facebook to see if there was an offense I needed to make right instead of becoming self-righteous and indignant
• commit an entire Saturday to gather with a handful of friends to fast and pray for our church
• attend a barbecue with a houseful of people outside of my usual social circle (quite a challenge for an introvert) in an effort to build community and promote unity in my church family
• drive all the way across town on a Saturday evening to watch someone perform at an open mic night instead of staying planted on my futon watching old episodes of "Arrested Development"

Now PLEASE understand, I am in no way trying to give myself a pat on the back for doing any of these things. I fear some may infer, not only from this brief list of life examples but also from my frequent & enthusiastic sharing of what God is teaching me (whether that's here or on Facebook), that I'm seeking the praise of man, but that is not my goal at all. I am not so deluded as to think I've somehow arrived, and I am fully aware that I have plenty of room to continue learning and growing for the duration of my time here on earth! But at the same time, praise God, by His grace there HAS been progress in my life this year in areas I previously withheld from Him, and I've discovered that when you start surrendering to Him and begin to taste life as I believe He really intended it to be, your natural response is simply to share it because it is SO GOOD! I only share some specific examples of ways I've chosen to die to self this year because I am suddenly realizing each of those instances has contributed to a better story being told through my life than if I'd acted from a more natural [read: selfish] response, and that brings joy to my heart.

Here's the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it...People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.
-Donald Miller

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A few days ago I was wrestling with frustration over some of the meaningless stories that are being lived out in this world, but as I was pouring out my frustration to God, He began speaking to my heart and shifting my perspective to how I myself can continue to seek ways to live a better story with my own life. As I began to consider how I can improve the story my life is telling, my frustration began to fade. I can't always affect the story someone else is telling, but when I'm in a funk, there is almost always something I can do to make my own story a better one. It's rarely easy, but it's ALWAYS worth it.

I HOPE that I am increasingly living my life in a way that reflects the story of Jesus to the people around me and draws them closer to His Kingdom. I hope that the smaller stories I live within the larger story of my life, which is only a drop in the ocean of the grand story of God's work in the world, are telling a story of irrepressible hope and joy that flows from my belief that God is in the business of restoring His original good design for mankind. I believe He created us in His image to live beautifully in right relationships -- with Him and with others and with our environment -- and to be conduits of love and creativity and justice and mercy in this world. And although we are surrounded by brokenness and are broken ourselves, and although we have all rebelled against God, because of Jesus' death and resurrection, I believe redemption is possible. As we learn to die to self and embrace Christ's lordship, submitting to Him as our just and merciful King, He transforms us so that we increasingly reflect His image and His Kingdom to the world around us. And nothing reflects His Kingdom more than our reconciled relationships -- with God, fellow believers, family, those who don't share our faith, friends, enemies, possessions, creation, self, etc.

This is the story of restoration, and I hope that it is the story my life is telling, because there is no greater story to tell!

to set free those who are oppressed

Wednesday night my parents and I happened to catch the movie "Mississippi Burning" just as it was coming on TV. As we watched, there were points at which I felt deeply troubled by what I was seeing. Even more than the horrific way the whites treated the black community, I was disturbed by the oppression I saw as evidenced by the black community's refusal to speak up about the injustices being committed. It reminded me of what I saw in "The Help," which also deeply troubled me.

A couple of days later I was looking at a worksheet my brother recently created that's intended to help people identify different aspects of God's design for them as individuals. One question on the worksheet asked, "What makes you mad?" I immediately thought of oppression. It's not just the historical racial oppression I see portrayed in movies that angers me, it's also the spiritual oppression I see in the lives of people I know personally. I had already been thinking about this a few weeks ago. I become extremely troubled when I see people I care about, brothers and sisters in Christ, missing out on the full life God intends for them because they're being oppressed by lies that have been fed to them by he who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. The worst of it for me is to see people who have given up fighting. It is not in my nature to give up, and I feel like my spirit is suffocating when I see that someone I care about has resigned him- or herself to the way things are, no longer seeking change because change has been thwarted so many times in the past.

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As I've found freedom in God's grace and living for His Kingdom over the past few months, I've also experienced a deep desire to see others find that same freedom. Jesus said He was sent "to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, and to set free those who are oppressed." We as believers are to carry on the work He began on earth. And lately it seems as though God has been shaping me with a particular draw to the part about setting free those who are oppressed.

Saturday morning I was praying about this and I thought again of "The Help" (the book version of which landed in my hands less than 24 hours after I watched "Mississippi Burning" and really started thinking about how much I hate oppression...coincidence?). I thought about how writing was the tool Skeeter used to fight the oppression she saw in her community. I've always considered myself a writer (though a slow one) and I suddenly wondered whether writing might be a tool through which God is leading me to fight spiritual oppression. I don't have any big ambition in this regard, I just think perhaps through this blog and through various personal communications part of God's design for me might be to fight spiritual oppression through my writing.

I've been re-watching season 4 of Chuck, and yesterday I was watching an episode in which Chuck has been captured during a time when he does not have the intersect, leaving him defenseless against his enemies. Sarah is bound and determined to find him and heads to the roughest part of Thailand when she gets word that's where he's being held. Once she arrives she agrees to fight someone in order to gain information about his specific whereabouts. (Meanwhile Chuck's mind is being poisoned with a substance that is designed to erase his memory.) This is not the only time we see Sarah kicking some tail on this show, but I couldn't help but notice the passion with which she fights in this scene.

{screen shot from the fight scene}

Sarah's passion resonated with me, because I feel passionate about helping to free people (especially people I already care about) whose minds are being poisoned by satan's lies, whose memories of God's truth and faithfulness are being stripped away, and whose hearts are becoming overwhelmed with such hopelessness and despair that they've stopped fighting for freedom. I wish a few powerful punches and a couple of roundhouse kicks would be effective in my situation (and that I knew how to deliver such to begin with, haha!), because it sure would feel good to release some of the frustration I feel when I witness oppression in people's lives! But as it is, it seems the weapons God has given me to use are those of prayer and pen (or keyboard, as it were). So my hope is that I can pray and write with all the fervor and determination I see in Sarah Walker as she fights physically to set Chuck free.

Last weekend I downloaded Josh Garrels' album "Love and War and the Sea In Between" (which, side note, just might be THE most fantastic album I've ever owned), and one of his songs really reflects my heart in all of this. I'll close with the lyrics, and if you'd like to hear the song you can listen at the bottom of the page.

Rise

I hung my head for the last time in surrender and despair
Before I'm dead, I'll take the last climb up the mountain, face my fears
The time has come to make a choice, use my voice for the love of every man
My mind's made up, never again, never again will I turn 'round

Though they may surround me like lions and crush me on all sides
I may fall, but I will rise
Not by my might or my power or by the strength of swords,
Only through Your love, oh Lord
All that's lost will be restored

Take courage sons, for we must go under the heart of darkness to set them free
But don't lose heart when you see the numbers -- there's no measure for the faith we bring
And it's given us to overcome if we run where the Spirit calls us on
The greatest things are yet to come; with the dawn we will rise

Though they may surround me like lions and crush me on all sides
I may fall, but I will rise
Not by my might or my power or by the strength of swords,
Only through Your love, oh Lord
All that's lost will be restored

Jesus, make me an agent of the restoration that comes only through Your love.

Kingdom-Minded: Living for Something Bigger Than Me

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As I've really begun to understand God's grace and the Gospel of the Kingdom of God over the past few months, I've discovered, probably more than anything else, a sense of FREEDOM that I never had before. I don't know if I can adequately explain the previous disconnect in my thinking or how exactly the shift in my thinking has so drastically changed my perspective, but it has a lot to do with recognizing that as Christians, as we are being transformed to look more like Christ, we are not so much being made into something completely new and foreign as we are being RESTORED to God's original design for us. I guess you could say I've come to believe the Christian life is less about striving to overcome my identity and more about learning to fulfill it as God intended, and that makes transformation seem a lot less overwhelming to me and a lot more exciting!

Along these same lines, I've realized that the Bible is not filled with arbitrary commands for Christian living but rather glimpses of how we can represent God's King-dom (that is to say very simply, His governing rule) in our lives. This frees us from the misconception that we need to know every individual instruction directed at believers, because the point is not to memorize every single principle but to live in a way that shows God, not SELF, is on the throne in our lives. Old Testament Law and New Testament principles are not an end in themselves but are a means to an end. The goal is to reflect God's Kingdom to the world around us. 

Clearly, this shift in perspective doesn't change the fact that transformation is a lifelong process that comes with challenges and trials.  But understanding God's original design for humanity and that our transformation is actually a restoration of that design, and understanding as well what it means to represent His Kingdom here on earth, come together give us a bigger picture for the Christian life that makes it not only less overwhelming but also more meaningful and exciting.

As these shifts in my thinking have been taking root and I've been finding more freedom in my understanding of the Gospel, I've oddly found myself feeling weighed down by a lot of what I hear in messages from Christian leaders. This can come in the form of sermons, Facebook posts, books, blogs, magazine articles, etc. For a while I couldn't put my finger on a reason, but I am finally realizing that I feel weighed down because many of these messages, while they convey Kingdom principles and challenge the listener to live by them, don't really acknowledge the Kingdom. More often than not it seems the greatest motivator we are given for Christian living is along the lines of it making us more like Christ, building our character, etc. And that's all well and good and true, and granted that in and of itself brings glory to God, but it seems as though that kind of thinking essentially puts ME back at the center of the story, and it's become abundantly clear to me that that's not where I belong. 

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It's also become clear to me that I quickly lose heart when I imagine myself at the center of the story. I need something bigger than myself to live for. When Christian living becomes challenging and I find myself struggling, I quickly lose motivation if the greatest aim I'm aware of is my own personal development, because at best that feels anti-climatic and at worst it feels rather hopeless. But when I begin to realize that Christian living is more about representing God's Kingdom to the world around me, then it becomes invigorating, even with all its challenges, because it's serving something much more epic than my own personal story. This doesn't make Christian living less challenging, but it does make it feel a lot less burdensome and a lot more meaningful, and that gives me a lot more motivation to press on when things get difficult. 

I just think our purpose as the Church is a lot more significant than many of us recognize, and I think if we really understood the Gospel of the Kingdom we would be living lives of greater freedom and purpose, and the messages we relay as Christians would be less about what Christian living is intended to do for our own personal lives and more about what it is intended to do for the sake of the Kingdom of God!

I actually composed the above thoughts a few days ago, but sometimes it's such a labor to articulate my thoughts, I have to take some time away from something I've written and come back to it later with a clearer mind to see if it even makes sense. In the meantime I came across the following paragraph in Chuck Colson's book How Now Shall We Live, which succinctly described almost exactly what I was trying to say in my first paragraph...

Christ's resurrection is only the beginning of the story of redemption. At Pentecost, the risen Christ sent forth the Holy Spirit into the lives of believers, to work out his purposes in their lives. Today as well, all believers receive the power to become children of God, to be transformed and restored to our true nature, people created in the image of God. And we live as the community of hope, in eschatological expectation, knowing that Christ will return and establish his rule over all. God's redemption, then, does not change us into something different so much as it restores us to the way we were originally created. 

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Yes. You may have already read my final thoughts on Facebook, but here they are nonetheless:

The more I read the New Testament, the less I believe Christ's provision of salvation is intended primarily to draw me to a personal, individualized, private holiness, and the more I believe it is intended to draw me into right, restored relationships in ALL aspects of life ~ with God, people, creation, possessions, etc. The restoration of those relationships to God's original design is only possible when I'm submitted to God as the ruler of my life instead of trying to rule my own life, which is exactly where salvation ought to lead me. Thus, salvation should have effects that extend FAR beyond self.

Thanksgiving All Year: 491-520

Wow. So much for staying caught up, eh? Well I've decided, since I've fallen so far behind on this for the past two months, that I am going to stop at 520 (which marks one year's worth of Thanks-giving) for the time being. I may revive the tradition at some point or alter it to a monthly list, but honestly my blog has been on the back burner for pretty much the entire summer (just in case you hadn't noticed, haha) and I have so much going on right now it just isn't a priority for me currently. This doesn't mean I'll stop posting, but I am going to relieve myself from my weekly (in theory) posts!

With that said, over the past few weeks, I have been thankful...

491. For solo coffee dates spent reading.

492. For good books (such as Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts)...

493. ...and for great songs (such as U2's "With or Without You")...

494. ...and for delightful moments when I get to enjoy both simultaneously.

"With or Without You" came on the radio while I was reading at the
coffee shop. It was such a perfect moment I had to take a picture!

495. For surprise birthday parties and for friends with whom to celebrate. (Alina and Alona are twins, born on August 11, and Patricia and I were both born on August 18!)

Left: Birthday Girls (me, Patricia, Alona, and Alina) Right: My winning teammates from the first game!

496. For a friend who shares my heart to get together and pray for our church each Sunday morning.

497. For our church family's willingness to step outside its comfort zone by holding Church in the Park.

worship team warming up at Wingfield Park in downtown Reno

498. That God sometimes provides great encouragement to me through people I barely even know.

499. For the new Mumford and Sons single, "I Will Wait."

500. For my recently reestablished weekly coffee dates with Jessie...

501. ...and that our favorite coffee shop recently reopened after being closed for almost three years!

It's in a different location now but we'll take it!

502. For my new lotion dispenser that says "Restore" on it ~ a memorial of how God has captured my heart in a whole new way this past year with the concept of Restoration.

503. For fun "blingy" jeans and "Life is Good" pajama pants purchased during my first thrift store excursion.

504. For Mimi's Cafe's chicken tenders.

505. For Sunday afternoons hanging out with the girls.

506. For a relaxing birthday celebration with my family, some of my best friends, my favorite pizza, and a good movie.

507. For laughing so hard I cried twice in one day watching Caleb bounce in his bouncy seat. SO. FUNNY.

You should see the video!

508. For the incredible beauty of God's creation at Yosemite National Park...

Yosemite Valley and Half Dome as seen from Glacier Point

509. ...and for the joy of being with people who are seeing it for the first time. (I think I tear up every time I hear someone's first expression of awe!)

At least half of our group had never been before!

510. For friends who I, as an introvert, am comfortable having in my "hamster ball" with me...

511. ...and that I got to spend the many hours of drive-time during our Yosemite trip surrounded by such friends.

Alex was in there, too, you just can't see him!

512. For a hike through a beautiful forest to see incredible views of Yosemite I'd never seen before.

513. For my ridiculously adorable nephew.

514. For the nearly perfect ending to my birthday: lying on the floor of Yosemite Valley, next to some of my best friends, spotting TWO shooting stars while star gazing. James 1:17

515. For the transforming work God has done in me since my last birthday.

516. For an evening with the beautiful (inside and out) Balkenbush, Steinhardt, and Bain girls.

517. For a deeper understanding of how God designed me through the Myers-Briggs personality assessment
(I'm an INFJ in case you're curious)...

518. ...and for the resulting increase in confidence to follow the direction I sense Him giving me.

519. For the discovery of great music. (Currently LOVING Amy Stroup, Josh Garrels, and The Autumn Film.)

520. For a year's worth of weekly (well...sort of) thanks-giving.

Thanks for joining me in giving thanks for the many beautiful things God has done in my life over the past year! Rest assured the thankfulness will not stop even though the weekly list is going away! Have a great weekend and a lovely start to your September!

The Gospel vs. The Chicken

A couple of months ago our young adults pastor shared a very simple truth one Sunday morning that had struck him while watching a television program about a group of people engaged in some really bizarre and ungodly practices: "The only thing standing between me and these people is the cross of Christ." It's a thought that has both stuck with me and been instrumental in transforming my thinking ever since.

If all this Chick-fil-A controversy had arisen but a few short months ago, it's highly likely you could have found me helping lead the charge to support a company that is near and dear to my heart not only because I love its food but also because I have treasured memories of working for it when I lived in Tennessee. However, because of what God has been showing me about the Gospel and Christianity over the past few months, this is not the case. (For the record, in saying this I'm not implying that I'm helping lead the charge against this company, either.)

It doesn't seem to me that all the uproar over this situation has been warranted; however, I don't think one unwarranted uproar makes another one right (especially when the latter is coming primarily from Christians), and I question whether the general Christian response to the backlash against Chick-fil-A has served the Kingdom of God very well...

Over the past few months I've finally come to understand, after many years as a Christian, that the heart of Christ's call to humanity is to find real life by dying to self. Not only does this mean dying to my blatant sin, it also means dying to my more subtle sin of self-righteousness, dying to whatever pride I cling to that makes me think my ability to be in a relationship with God has anything to do with my own behavior. 

At the end of March God started putting a whole slew of messages from various sources (thank you Donald Miller, Louie Giglio, and the apostle Paul in particular, haha) in my path that finally really awakened me to the truth that His grace is truly a free gift, made possible by the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit alone, not by anything I've done! (If you need convincing, check out Romans 5 where Paul describes justification and take note of every "by" and "through" phrase in the chapter... I promise you not one of them is followed by any work the reader has done!) Finally grasping these truths has opened the door for God to begin a level of transformation in my life that is far deeper than anything I've experienced in the past, because in the past there was still a lot of SELF getting in the way, both on the side of not recognizing the call to give up control and on the side of thinking my relationship with God was somehow made possible my good moral behavior.

At our fellowship group last night, someone very eloquently described how God spent the entire Old Testament showing us that we could NEVER fulfill His Law. That's precisely why we needed Christ's life, death, and resurrection ~ to provide the grace necessary for us to be in relationship with God again since we couldn't earn our way into that position... 

It's not that I find fault with Dan Cathy's stance on family relationships. My concern is that perhaps with the manner in which the general Christian public has taken up the banner of promoting traditional marriage in defense of Chick-fil-A, all we've effectually done is point to the Law, which we ourselves cannot fulfill, and pridefully elevated one tiny portion of it that isn't a struggle for us, as if this somehow makes us holier than the rest of the world. The truth is we've all broken some part (MANY parts, actually) of God's Law, and even as Christians most of us have strongholds that take us years to finally hand over to Christ, which means every last one of us is just as guilty as the next person.

The more I recognize just how filthy my own sin is, the less interested I am in calling any other person out on his or her sin. And the more I understand the Gospel of the Kingdom and recognize the fact that Jesus took me as I was and is being incredibly patient with the very slow process of my being transformed to reflect Him more clearly, the less I believe He expects anyone else to fulfill ANY portion of the Law before He is ready and willing to embrace and welcome them into His Kingdom. 

Granted, accepting the call to follow Christ and find real life by dying to self is going to produce fruit in our lives. As we learn to walk with Him and obey His commands, He begins to restore in us His original, good design. But without HIM guiding the process, whatever morality we possess is ultimately worthless because we will never fulfill God's whole Law by our own endeavors. 

I don't believe Jesus put us here to enforce God's Law. I believe He put us here to reflect what it looks like when we submit to His rule in our lives and to extend the invitation to others to taste and see that this is a good thing. I don't know if I would have agreed with this statement a few months ago, but I believe it now. I'm not saying we shouldn't hold to Biblical values, I'm just saying we're all broken and Jesus is the only One who can fix us ~ Dan Cathy and the LGBT community and the Christian community alike. I don't believe reminding a group of people of how they fail to measure up to God's design is going to help spread the Gospel (which for heaven's sake means good news) or further the Kingdom. I'd rather say "come just as you are" to all of the above and let Jesus take it from there.

Part of me doesn't want to post this at all because I don't really anticipate a particularly favorable reception from either side of the debate. And I hate controversy. But the more posts I see on Facebook the more compelled I am to say something, because almost every post is making me further question whether we are accurately representing the Gospel. And the Gospel is a lot more important than my popularity.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:12-17

Thanksgiving All Year: 431-440

I'm not gonna lie, this has been a challenging week for me, at least mentally speaking. I feel like I've been barraged with an onslaught of doubts and attempts at discouragement from the enemy, and resisting him can be a little bit draining. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm a melancholy, an over-thinker by nature, and therefore I have more thoughts in an average day to take captive to the obedience of Christ than many people probably do. God has been extremely faithful to me throughout this time of testing, though, and looking back over the past few days, I can see that every time I chose to resist doubt and to trust Him, He almost immediately followed my decision with some form of encouragement to spur me on. I tend to be a control freak, and I can say without hesitation this is something God has been chipping away at in my life over the past year... I am determined not to fail this "demanding control" vs. "trusting God" test one more time! Though it is extremely challenging at times, I am really grateful God is working on this area in my life!

As I look back over this past week, I am thankful...

431. For a fun afternoon/evening with the girls at the lake.

My friends can be quite silly but that just makes me love them all the more!

432. For beautiful sunsets.

433. For Pastor Eric's leadership in our Sunday morning young adults group... Somehow the questions he asks as we read through Scripture help me to see past the preconceived notions I've developed growing up in the church (which may or may not accurately reflect Scripture) and shed some of the baggage that keeps me from understanding the Gospel more clearly.

434. For an amazing dad to celebrate on Father's Day.

435. For recognizing progress in my attitude about certain situations in my life.

436. For the beauty in getting a glimpse of how God has gifted different people in our fellowship group.

437. For the sound of wind chimes.

438. For God's grace in giving me specific encouragement -- from His Spirit, from friends, from one of the youth girls I shepherd (youth ministry is not just a one-way street!), and from time with my Thursday afternoon "Living the Gospel" discussion group that reminded me of the bigger picture of life and of God's limitless power and infinite love -- to help support my faith as I choose to stand firm in it, resisting doubt and discouragement.

439. For little Caleb.

440. For the faith that God will carry on to completion the good work He begins in His children, whether circumstances look favorable for that to happen or not.

I pray as your faith faces challenges you will choose to stand firm and trust God no matter what kind of waves may be crashing around you! He will see you through! Have a great weekend, friends.